RESOURCE GUIDE
Supporting a loved one who has experienced sexual violence is both essential and emotionally complex. The most important aspects of your support should focus on belief and validation. Survivors often say that one of the most healing things someone can do is believe them without hesitation.
Additionally, it's crucial to help the survivor regain a sense of control, as sexual violence can strip away personal power. Healing often begins with restoring that sense of control. Make sure to listen more than you speak, and allow moments of silence; they can be just as meaningful. Remember that survivors may process their experiences in fragmented or non-linear ways.
As you support your loved one, be mindful of your own emotions. It’s normal to feel anger, sadness, or helplessness, but the survivor should not feel they need to comfort you. Familiarize yourself with professional resources that can assist them in their healing journey. Many free national and local resources are available to help. Having worked with many local rape crisis centers in South Carolina, I can’t express enough how incredible their support and services are. These professionals are true servant leaders who support victims and survivors in immeasurable ways.
Practice patience, as there will be days when your loved one seems okay and others when the trauma reemerges. Support them through both. Finally, consistently reassure them that they are not a burden. Many survivors fear being "too much." Remind them that you care and that they are not alone in this process.
How do I support a loved one who has experienced sexual violence?
First, thank you for caring about these issues. As a leader in this space, students reach out to me to share their feelings. They want to know that their institution cares, especially when they or someone they care about has been impacted by sexual violence. So, let me emphasize: you deserve to feel safe, supported, and heard. Safety, in all its forms, is the foundation of student success. I am a firm believer in this.
You can begin by utilizing the channels that already exist. Consider speaking with your institution's Title IX Office, the student affairs division, or a dean of students. You can also build strength in numbers by forming a coalition of students who care. This may take the shape of a student organization focused on sexual violence prevention or a committee within your student government association. Student voices should always matter.
It is essential to advocate for concrete, measurable actions from your school's administration. Achieving compliance is not particularly difficult, but we should not settle for basic programs that merely check a box. Colleges and universities need to create a comprehensive strategy that genuinely impacts how a campus fosters relationships, respects consent and boundaries, and supports those who have been harmed.
Education and awareness surrounding these issues must be ongoing—not just during orientation or an event during Sexual Assault Awareness Month. Please know that I am happy to discuss your concerns, goals, and how we can work together to make your campus a safer place. This work is far too important for us to ignore; it affects every campus in our country.
How can I get my campus to care about these issues? I am not seeing enough urgency from my school, and it makes me anxious.
Book Recommendations on Campus Sexual Violence
Book Recommendations on Trauma and Healing
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National Domestic Violence Hotline
1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
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Love Is Respect
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RAINN

